Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
