im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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