Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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