Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
