Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
