for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
