do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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