its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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