for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
