DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize