Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
