We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize