Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
