I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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