I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
