Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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