hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize