So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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