its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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