I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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