So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
