After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
