it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
