That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
