Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Betty ford says i'm here all night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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