I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
porn star boner night. come get it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
