my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
