hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
