But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Your penis caused this!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
