it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
