marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize