it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
