So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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