living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
