OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
what day is it and did you see me today?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
