She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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