Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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