fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
