i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
