:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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