Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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