turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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