i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
