I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
