So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
