Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
