I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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