I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
did you just send me my own nude
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
