At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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