so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
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