ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
