dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
