I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
