Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
