Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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