I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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