Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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