This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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