I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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