Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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