You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
