What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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