He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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