Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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