So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
